I need this and I need it yesterday.
Ok, so this seems like a good one to start with.
Earlier today I heard, over the cubicle wall, one of my co-workers talking about how her previous boss was very fond of the phrase “I need this and I need it Yesterday.”
So am I the only one who finds that phrase completely absurd?
Yes I know what a person who says this means. They are trying to make a point that they need something quickly. But “I need it Yesterday” seems ridiculous. If you needed it Yesterday, you should have asked for it Yesterday, or better yet the day before. Even worse, it seems to say to the person you are telling to do the task that no matter how hard they try, no matter how quickly they get the task done, there is no way they can make you happy as it is already overdue. This just doesn’t seem like a good way to manage.
Wouldn’t it be better to simply say, “I need this as soon as possible”. Or how about “This just landed on my desk and it is already overdue, please put this as top priority and complete it as soon as possible.” Both of these phrases get across the urgency of the request while not making the person doing it feel like they are killing themselves for your mistake or in a hopeless position where they can not make you happy.
I’m sorry, this phrase is completely absurd and should be stricken from the vocabulary of any thinking person.